Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Confessions of a Routine Renegade

This morning I was following an email exchange from my mothers group around baby routines, and couldn't help but smile as I jotted down His Royal Cuteness, Captain Morgan's current routine (I use the term lightly).

5am: Eyes wide open, doing push-ups on the mattress. Parentals attempt any and all measures to induce a sleep in till 5.30am.

6am: Playtime! Crazy tumbling and crawling - trying, it appears, to fall out of bed.

7am: During breakfast, ingests as little food as possible by clamping lips shut.

9am: His Royal Cuteness is tired after partying all night, but prefers not to sleep in his cot if it can be helped. 

9.45am: Operation Destruct is in full flight with much loud noise and activity to pull out books, DVDs, toys within reach. A visit to the park is a popular choice.

11.30am: Might be time for another catnap in the car as mum attempts to regain sanity at the shops, gym or running errands.

12.30pm: During lunch, The Captain will only eat sandwiches and cheesesticks that have been prepared by the light of the full moon - anything considered to be baby food is splattered across the kitchen.

1.30pm: Attempted escape from Alcatraz is thwarted by strategically putting on Hi 5 and distracting said escapee for, oh, five whole minutes.

3.00pm: Much gnashing of teeth and flailing of arms indicates there'll be a fight to the end, but eventually results in a nap.

6.00pm: Daddy Gorgeous arrives home - there is happiness and joy in the house.

6.30pm: Dinner time! Usually results in a repeat performance of the 7am breakfast slot. Parentals reach for a medicinal glass of red.

6.45pm: Sitting regally in the bath, The Captain ignores his many bath toys, prefering to suck on a face washer instead.

7.30pm: Additional crawling, playtime, bouncing (etc) required to fully tire the monster within!

7.45pm: Blessed sleep arrives. For a limited time only.
10.30pm: Wakes for the night disco as soon as he hears the lights being switched off - or once other members in the house have started to doze.

So... what's funny about your daily routine?
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